and i say thank you again and again

thank you Lord, i've finally graduated after 4 years of toiling moiling.

thank you Lord for friends who walked beside me all the way.

thank you Lord for my family who've been the most supporting people to me ever.

thank you Lord i can now call myself a B. Pharm graduate, with honours. :)

thank you Lord you've opened doors for me to stay here in tassie and i look forward to all the exciting things you have planned for this place, the church and the people here.

thank you Lord for the job i have now and the many things i have already learnt.

thank you Lord for preparing the way ahead for me and for guiding me through the obstacles, one by one.

thank you Lord for church, where i can call home.

thank you for not giving up on me, Lord.

thank you that friends and family are here to celebrate this happy occasion with me, some have come and left, some are on the way and some will be here real soon!

thank you for your provision, guidance, support, love and care, discipline, shaping, refining, grace and favour all through my uni life, Lord.

Now that my dear friends and i are starting a new chapter in life, i pray for your blessing and your guidance, and that we will walk in your ways, under your covering, all the days of our lives.

To my beloved wonder five:
Thank you for being the best coursemates ever, i am such a blessed little girl to have you there with me through the long but totally enjoyable course. Thanks for making uni days the best days of my life and i wish we will never separate. But no matter what happens, where we are or where we will be, no matter what we do or how old we become, we will always be best friends forever! :)

last trip together

bye now.

i'm off to sydney n new zealand for a super long holiday before i come back to work.

and this would most probably be the last time wonder five (and some other important persons)are travelling together. actually, it's the first time too. :D

sayonara and see you soon!

♥

Oh yeah!

More of You

I'm still lamenting over my stupidity of not memorising the iv part for residency.. :(

Lord, so many mistakes, so messy, so many obstacles, so many worries, so many attempts, so many failures, so many regrets, so many fears...

Daddy in heaven, i'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Would you forgive my mistakes and sweep away the mess? Would you help me overcome the many obstacles and exchange my worries for your joy and peace? Would you turn failures into victories and regrets into hope? Lord, you said that perfect love drives out all fear. Would you drive out the fears in me? Fear of the uncertain, fear of the future, fear of failure, fear of breaking out from my comfort zone.

Carry me in your arms and rock me to sleep like you would when i was young. Fly me on yours wings like you did in the vision. Walk me through every season like you promised me. My Lord, my Jesus, even if everything is taken from me, i still have you, and you are all i need.

I thank you for my life, Lord, and everything in it. Family, friends, love, salvation, degree, job, food, vacations. I have more than i need, but i still need more of you.

More of you, please. More of you.

last time having exams as a pharmacy student :)

Instead of studying, i spent the past hour reading my old blog posts. 0-0

I can be really forgetful. Some things i read from my own blog, it felt like i was reading it for the first time when i was the one who wrote it. And i usually read and re-read before i post!

I don't have much in mind to blog, just to say "exam times are so so boring!!!!"

Actually, i should blog more often, cos i am happy when i read old blog posts and they remind me of things i have forgotten.

Okay, i really don't have anything to blog about... besides, i had a good dinner tonight, combat was good but much more tiring than monday's, i can't wait for exams to end, CW called to say contracts be signed sometime next week!?

A big hairy spider came into my room yesterday night, and it crawled so fast and it was so terribly hairy that it looked like a fur ball came rolling into my room. I couldn't stand having a hairy spider in my room, so i plucked up the courage to whack it till it died. Actually, i was quite proud of myself. Sorry to all spider-lovers but i'm terribly afraid of them and when i'm afraid of something like spiders or lizards, i have to destroy them! Don't ask me why..

I should go back to study, bye blog, bye everyone..

a 52 day prayer

I was listening to Bishop TD Jakes' sermon and at the end he said to pray this prayer for the next 52 days (although he gave this sermon many months before).

This is the verse:
"And Jesus increased in WISDOM and STATURE, and in FAVOUR with God and men."
Luke 2:52

I calculated that if i start today, the last day will be my graduation day! :)

Happy Birthday Che!

Wow, another year has passed! I think time doesn't have wings, i think it drives a jetplane..!

Oni/ che/ ka che/ beep beep beep,

Every year i tell you how wonderful a sister you are and that you're the best sister in the whole wide world! This year, i want to tell you that....

After so many years, you're still the best sister in the whole wide world!!!!!! :D

You're always top on my list of 'things to thank God for' and God must love me so much to make me your younger sister. Thank you for lending me your ears when i needed someone to listen, your shoulders when i needed someone to lean on, your hands when i was falling and needed someone to hold me, your heart when i needed some tender loving care. I know i can be nuisance at times, especially when i was younger, but thank you for helping me grow up and to be who i am today, thank you for never walking away.

I ♥ you berry berry muchie! :)

May your light shine ever so bright wherever you are and may others be so blessed to have you around just as i have been blessed by you. I know God loves you super-much and i know He has lots of presents in store for you this year! ^^

Happy birthday again Che! Miss you so sooooooo much!

...

First exam paper this Friday!

Lord, i know i can get distracted from doing the right things, thinking the right thoughts, saying the right words all the time, please give me self-control and fill my mind with your truths. And thanks for helping me out and answering yaya's prayer! ;)

"A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom" Proverbs 10:26

Forgetfulness

Okay, so it isn't as easy as i thought. I thought, now that my focus is realigned, my heart is right, everything will be fine but I must admit it is taking much longer.

I told myself, i must forgive. Yet it didn't make sense cos nobody did me any wrong.

I told myself, i must be gracious for God was gracious to me. If God treated me as i deserved, i would be dead, so i must treat others with grace. That didn't quite work either although it helped tilt my head towards the right direction.

Since it is taking so long, i am guessing there must be a lesson somewhere hidden in this that God wants me to learn/ re-learn. So, i made a conscious decision to pray and sing praises to God despite the objections of every part of me. And bang, a lightbulb moment! i suddenly remembered that God is sovereign, He is my vindication, He is my banner, He is in control, He is just, He knows it all. It was as if i found an old toy i used to cherish very much as a little girl. Instantly, i felt like something was lifted from me. I realise humans are forgetful beings. Or is it just me? I know and i used to hold on tightly to this particular truth that God will fight my battles and give me victory and if i honour Him, He will honour me. But why and how on earth did i forget that?

Honestly, i think the reason for my inability to see and think clearly was because i pitied myself. And i wanted others to join me in my pity party too. I couldn't stop feeling how unfair things are for me. I became so concerned about myself that nothing else matters. And i guess, in the midst of all that i forgot how it feels like to surrender my cares to a God who can take care of everything and anything for me..

I thank God that through this He reminded me that,

He is looking after me.

He is sovereign and just. He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him.

I should always put myself in other people's shoes and not only look at things through these eyes and spectacles of mine.

I should never stop giving thanks.

I should never take quiet time holidays, if you know what i mean. :)

I'm not sure if this is it and whether i can now face what is coming with a smile, but i have a feeling i'm getting there.. :)

Lord, may you bring comfort to every one who needs your gracious touch and healing today, i know you can even if every single person on earth needs that today..

thankfulness

I couldn't take it anymore, so i went to my usual secret place where there's wind and waves, mountains and hills, fresh air and blue skies, God and me.

I realise it has been long since i quiet down myself and spend quality time with my counsellor (aka Holy Spirit). That's probably why - the troubled heart, the heavy shoulders, the confused mind, purposeless days..

I realise also that thankfulness left me. I was grumbling about everything under the sun and nothing seemed to be right. Nothing was good enough for me. I read 2 articles today and both were about thankfulness. Talk about coincidence.

As i sat there with my eyes closed, wind blowing against my face and hair, sun shining on me, Jesus before me and everything else behind me, everything fell into place. Things began to position themselves where they should be. I walked away refreshed, with a clear mind, heart re-focused, perspectives aligned and a smile on my face.

I thank God that He is always always there and no matter how terrible i think i am, He still loves me.

I thank God for nature, cos when i look at the trees and the flowers and the clouds and the leaves, i know someone's looking after me.

I thank God for Che, who talked with me on the phone for 1 1/2 hours.

I thank God for Har, who always always seem to find the right words to say to me.

I thank God for yaya, who has stuck with me through thick and thin, and for the cookies that awaits me! :))

To quote Jaeson ma, life is a beautiful struggle.

Lord, help me choose to be thankful even when i don't feel like it.

WHY?

Why why why why why?

Why is it always me?

Why do i always have to swallow down the mess and take all the blame?

Why?

If not for what You said through Paul to "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone", i won't even bother!

But is this what you would have done, Lord?

My heart is so troubled with so so SO MANY things to think about that i just wish i can graduate and go home. No more worries.. :(

just because..

..she asked me to update my blog.

..she has nothing to read online.

..all other bloggers didn't update their blogs.

she is....

*drum rolls*

my best study/honours/exercise/placement/baking buddy, 牙牙 (pronounced as yaya)!

Thank you yaya for everything! Besides the awkward first impression, you have been such a blessing to me then-after. I can't imagine how uni life would have been without you, and i don't even want to try and imagine how it's going to be like if u're going.. :(

Yaya, zhen hai pat nang mut yao lei.. haha!

Next time when i'm old and wrinkly, i will think about how we yam si zhok dui with song lyrics, laugh at each other's silly mistakes and do silly stuff like hello? hi? haha? hehe? okay?

Google me!

I googled Phyllis Lee Wei Leng and look what i found!

Daily Express
Bright young students show their creativity
Published on: Sunday, July 31, 2005

Kota Kinabalu: Bright young minds showed their creativity on Saturday during their school SM Tshung Tsin's 40th anniversary and Institute Sinaran's "Open Day" cum Education Fair today (Sunday) when they took part in an exhibition displaying their completed projects.

blablabla..

Students Phyllis Lee Wei Leng, Abel Chai Yuen Kuang and Wong Fui Chiung of Senior Three Xiao are ever ready to promote their Plant Identification Project, which also involved 23 others.

blablabla...

It's actually me! It's me!!! That's the one and only thing i found about myself through the internet though, good or bad i don't know.. but i'm so happy! :))

If you don't believe me, here's the link:
http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/news.cfm?NewsID=36110

XD

Can this be eaten?

My heart is bursting with emotions, excited that i'll soon be free of what seems to be an endless torture (okay, it's not that bad actually..) but at the same time so nervous that the deadline's drawing near!

My table looks like it's been bombed! with my lit review, my lecturer's thesis, books, dictionaries, papers, notebooks, paper scraps all on top of one another.. sticky notes with lists of things to do, some with ticks on it cos i've done it already! *smiles proudly*

But well, it makes me feel like a very important person with important things to do in life! =)

I thank God also that during the past one month, He has helped me make some time for Him when i wake up and truly, i can testify, that when i start off my day with some God-time, the whole day becomes so productive, like i can work for 10 hours a day and still feel like going on..

God is good! I shall set my heart on a pilgrimage for this 3-4 months cos Ps Lucas said God's going to do something!!!! *excited!*

Cheerios and have a fan-TAS-tic day!

p/s: oh, i nearly forgot to mention about "can this be eaten?" If you see bella next time, ask her that and see if she shakes her head and say "nooooo.." I taught her that! :D :D so proud! hhehe!

my daddy

these few weeks i have been thinking alot about my daddy..

i remember how when i was younger, he used to wipe dry my hair with the towel after i shower;

how i lie down at the back of the car, drinking milo from the milk bottle, while he drives. i can tell when he makes the milo cos it's usually sweeter;

how i waited for him to come home from work to help me with my kemahiran hidup project;

how he used to only have one pair of shoes while we all have plenty;

how he used to always say he can send me to church or something but end up having to go somewhere else for work;

how he would always come home from outstation trips with lots of goodies, the blue little dress all my friends admired, dried mango snack and mango ice cream, cat's tongue biscuits..

how he always says "steady bahh..."

Dad has been the most generous dad to me and i felt it more since i came to Tassie, he allowed me to go on holidays around australia when i didnt think he would, he payed for me to go home every year and for mum to come with me twice, and now he said he would pay for me to go Singapore for Christmas too! *tears*

Thank you Daddy for loving me soooo much, and i thank God for giving me the best daddy in the world! I love you daddy!

getting there!

now, just in case u're wondering, i'm not slacking in my 365days of love!

some days i help joyce fold baby's clothes, some days i take care of ting ting for a while when she goes out, some days i send ecards and messages to encourage my friends. Although it may not be exactly one each day, sometimes more sometimes less (<1 = 0) haha, but i'm not slacking!

Writing a thesis definitely sits at the top of my 'most frustrating things' list but well, 9 days to go! But i'm grateful for this journey and i thank God for everything along the way..

Jia you yaya! We're almost there! :)

following Jesus

When i woke up this morning, more like noon, i prayed a prayer..

i said, Lord, show me what it means to take up my cross and follow you.

In my heart, i knew i must not say prayers that i don't really mean cos God hears and God takes my prayers seriously. But it was a prayer from my heart.

I don't know what it really means but i want to know. Jesus said, "Anyone who does not take up his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:27

I'm troubled by what this really means, so i want God to show it to me..

I did quite a bit of work today, and when i had enough of writing, i listened to a song (thanks stevie for sharing the songs online!) it's called "Yet will i sing". It's a beautiful song. As i listened to it, i came to a realisation that yes, i don't need physical ears to hear what Jesus has to say to me, i don't need physical eyes to see Jesus, i don't need a voice that can be heard to talk to my Lord. It sounds painful i know but Jesus loves me more than i love my voice, my ears, my eyes. He is worth all these.

As i was searching for the lyrics of this song, i stumbled upon Dean's blog. He battled with pancreatic cancer, which later on metastesized to his liver. Every day of this battle, he trusted in Jesus, he loved Jesus, he followed Jesus, he thanked Jesus, he still loved those around him like he did before. He died recently, after 2 years, and each and every day of that 2 years, he was a victor. Cancer did not defeat him, he died a strong man, dearly loved by God. Could this be what it means to take up my cross and follow you Lord? I don't mean cancer, i mean loving you no matter the cost.

"Yet will i sing"
by Audra Lynn

let this be the only love song i write
will you be the only love in my life
i asked you to draw me
i said i would run
so though i walk through the valley
yet will i trust
i asked you to call me
i said i would come
so though i go up the mountain
yet will i run
and though my song be taken from me
yet will i sing, yet will i praise you
though the joy be taken from me
yet will i laugh, yet will i shout unto you
though the light be hidden from me
yet will i walk, yet will i run after you
though my heart be slain within me
yet will i trust, yet will i follow you
cause i know whatever you do, you do through the eyes of mercy
oh, and nothing can be added to it, and nothing can be taken away
there is a time for every purpose under the heavens
so though my weeping lasts for the night,
Your joy, it comes with the light
though my song be taken from me,
yet will i sing, yet will i praise you
though my heart be slain within me
yet will i trust, yet will i follow after you

everything means nothing, if i ain't got YOU!

#365days of love:

FRIDAY - gave out free coffee and muffins at church, felt so so good! people just keep saying thank you. but i still wonder why some people would say no to free muffins! anyway, there were a few left at the end so i took them across the street to some men carrying some stuff at the back of a truck. they were looking at me the whole time as i walked towards them, when i got close enough i asked "would you like some muffins?" they smiled and asked "how much are they?" i smiled til my eyes closed and said "they're free!" and boy, how i enjoyed looking at their smiles grow bigger and bigger across their face as they said "thank you!" talk about hopping on other people's back or flying on other people's wings! i did nothing besides stand and hand out muffins, smile and say "have a nice day!"

SATURDAY - spent some time with joyce, michelle and baby bella at the beach and an afternoon drink. turned out we spent 3 hours there. i enjoyed myself very much too! so i guess love others, love yourself..

SUNDAY - thought of a friend whom i've not seen for quite some time and asked her out for lunch today.

on Wednesday i just randomly texted a few friends that i've not been in contact with lately and i texted Min. I haven't seen her for ages, after i texted her, i saw her twice already! Is that God or what?

God's favour has been pouring down on me lately and somehow i am afraid, unsure cos i feel so inadequate, i feel like i'm not good enough.. but God, thank You for telling me that it's not about me, not about what i can do, it's about You. About You and me together.

As i consciously make an effort to love others, i feel love comes back in many shapes and sizes too! A friend gave me krispy kreme today (yummy!), Joyce helped me take in my clothes cos it was raining and i didnt realise cos my music was so loud! and a housemate in front gave us tea-eggs!

God, are you amazing or what!? i can't thank you enough for this love you have showered upon me! may it overflow and touch everyone around me too!

Indescribable!

i was going to go to sleep early so that i can wake up for coffee and muffins at church tomorrow but i just have to blog this!

This has to be the greatest day of my life, okay maybe greatest day of the month? Anyhoo, it's the best best day! God is so so awesome! I cannot put it down in words! He is amazing! I mean, who could have been the mastermind behind this!? Oh my gosh, i am overwhelmed! My God, you are unbelievable!

Thank you Lord, for guiding Dr Tony's hands and directing him to 3 different babies that each have confirmed sepsis, clinical sepsis and no sepsis. I asked myself a zillion times, what are the odds!? I only had 3 samples! God, must you be so meticulous? Not one more, not one less? This has to be one of the best miracles i've seen! By the way, i calculated and there was only a 1 in 10 chance that we get this, and it's harder than getting a 6 with just one throw of the dice!

Just yesterday, i was telling yaya that we could have 3 samples, all being non-sepsis! And i will cry my lungs out if that was the case. But surely my God cares and my God loves me! And just the other day, i was talking to God and just randomly told him, there's a miracle coming my way! I don't know which comes first, faith or miracles!

I emailed my supervisor and told him the amazing news, he said, 'talk about lucky!'
In my heart, i was bursting and was just going to shout at him, no way, Jose, luck didn't do it, my God did! But i spared him that, of course! :D

Thank you Lord thank you Lord thank you Lord! I just love it when you are in control! Nothing i have done to deserve this Lord, you rock my world! woo hoo! I am so going to tell this to the world! Everyone ought to experience this too!!!!!

okay, i haven't been very loving today, just very happy.

but i guess this counts too, #365days of love:

shared the little food that i had with little bella.

sent a facebook message of encouragement to a long lost friend who seems to be in a bit of trouble! :( God, help her!

signing off now! beep beep!

my soul sings!

#365days of love:

found a paper a friend gave me, while i was tidying my room, an invitation to do a survey and i actually made the decision to take some time and do it! Whee~!

and then i took in a letter which i think is quite important, for the housemate in front cos i think it's gonna rain tomorrow! I'm guessing she won't be happy to find her letter from the school, sitting in the mailbox all wet! :)

FIRE:
THE WORLD IS WAITING TO SEE A PERSON ON FIRE FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN. LET OUR HEARTS BE WOOD AND LET GOD'S WORD BE THE FLAME THAT LIGHTS OUR HEARTS ABLAZE.
(Jaeson Ma on the topic of fire, but i didn't retype the whole thing this time :D)

ID was aweeeeesome! Everyone should come! :p

Lord, set my heart on fire! Fill me with your love! And by the way, thanks for the beautiful sunshine today! :)

true love

is tough love!

well, like i previously said, none of what i did for #365days of love so far was anything more than what i would usually do. I just try to make it sound like i did something out of love when actually, anyone would have done what i've done.

And just when you think you are very loving, God shows you what true love is.
This 2 friends really got on my nerves, you know, my blood was boiling like mad! We were chatting over googletalk so they didn't have a clue fire was burning within me, and my blood was going to shoot through the roof had someone poked me with a needle. I battled in my mind, in my heart, with God, with myself. I felt like i was flying and then they pulled me down to earth! :(

I struggled to stop analysing what they did to me and avoiding thinking how the words they said discouraged me. But, it was a tough battle! I was really on the verge of blowing fire back at them or at least just walk away and say bye! (by the way, they are really nice people and they had no bad intentions at all! Maybe it's just PMS!)

At the end, i stayed and chose to speak politely, like i always do.. :p
Asking God to help me forgive them altho they didn't really do me wrong and help me to love.

And for this, i can say, i have truly loved today! :))

Thank you, Lord! Fill me with your love, my love is so flawed!

Not yesterday, but today; not tomorrow, but TODAY!

The first thing i hear, playing on my lappie, as i opened my eyes today was that, IT'S TODAY! :)

I find these little sermons Jaeson Ma puts on his website are really inspiring! The things he say are not unfamiliar to us i'm sure but the way he puts it gives a very different perspective..

Well, here's one for today..

I can't actually copy and paste :(

On the topic of LIFE:
LIFE IS NOT PERFECT, BUT EVERY LIFE WORTH LIVING. WE MAY GO THROUGH HARD TIMES AND CHALLENGES, BUT LIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL STRUGGLE. NO LIFE IS AN ACCIDENT, BUT EVERY LIFE A DESTINY. EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFE, THE GOOD AND THE BAD, HAS A PURPOSE, WHEN WE EMBRACE LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS WE REALISE THAT LIFE INDEED IS BEAUTIFUL...LIFE LIVE WITH NO REGRETS, LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST.

(ops, i wanted to re-type a few good lines, ended up retypying the whole thing!)

now, #365days of love:
I gave time to help my friend with her studies today! And she bought me korean instant noodles! :) Thank you, Lord!

Ops, hoping my blog isn't gonna turn into a Jaeson Ma fanpage here!

Got to go analyse some more proteins now! :D

tweet tweet!

It was fun replying to tweets on twitter! And fun people makes it all the more enjoyable! :) thanks klo and elaine for giving me a heads up on twitter! but oh gosh, twitpic and tweetdeck and selective twitter, just hearing all those terms make me dizzy!

And i just got to know Elva Hsiao aka Hsiao Ya Hsuen is a christian too! cool!

#365days of love update:
Hmm, helped Joyce get her newspapers and help bring back a new card for collecting papers, she was delighted! i knew it! haha! i gave her the surprises one by one and she was all smiles! first the newspapers, then the card, then the assignment i helped pick up, then the candies! And she screamed in delight when she saw me using grocery bags! She's a recycle freak if you don't know it already, and her nickname's recycle po. :p But credits go to yaya too, cos i won't have gone to uni if she weren't going.

Smiled to a stranger on the road.

Talked to Jiena on the phone for about an hour while starving cos i love her that much! :)

But you see, i would have done all these even if i hadn't decided to do this project. It wasn't anything extra loving. I guess i should plan something more exciting, yeah! And maybe get my CG members involved! Whheee~!

I didn't take in Jiena's postcard from the mailbox because it was full of snails.. :( and i didn't pick up paper on the pavement because it was dirty. I should have done that and said, "I love Hobart!" :)

But i guess, just by having the 365days of love thing at the back of my head makes me look up and out, being alert of things that are happening around me and carrying a smile when i walk along the streets, rather than look down and thinking about my own things. It's a totally different view from here and definitely the better one!

Anyway, thanks for letting me use JMP on your computer today yaya! You're a true blessing! :)

ops, apparently the link doesn't work!

thanks yaya, my faithful reader and friend! :D

here's the correct link, http://jaesonma.com

Extravagance vs Significance?

I choose significance.

If there's anything good about spending hours after hours on surfing the internet lately, it would be that i am truly inspired and pumped up to live a life of significance!

So many big people doing big things, bringing big influences and changing the world for the better. I am contented with a simple life but i want to do something big too. I believe God has a purpose for my life and that includes bringing hope and love to those around me. I am not aspiring to be someone BIG or what, but i dream that my actions will have great impact on those in need, those who need God.

Pastor Lucas today said he wants to instill values into his children (and we are his children too!). Firstly, godly values, then good values and lastly global values. That surprised me! Global values? What's that? It's not just thinking about yourself but for others as well. Go out and do something for your world!

One of those people who have really inspired me lately is Jaeson Ma. You may remember me mentioning about him not too long ago. He started this '365 days of love' thing where he does a random act of kindness/love to someone wherever he is. Sometimes it's just giving up a seat on a bus, giving some change to a beggar, helping someone pull her luggage but other times it's going out to the streets and giving out sweets in a ninja suit, or hand-sanitising for free, or giving free peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to labourers queuing for jobs, or something like putting up a sign that says "Honk, i will dance" on a Friday evening to put a smile on people's faces!

How cool is that?

Hmm, maybe i should try it too. And commit myself to giving out some love everyday. Try is the keyword here by the way. :p

Well, a few things i must first tell myself:
1) Dream big because the fulfiller of dreams himself will surely be big enough for even my biggest dreams!
2) Be inspired and then act, don't just sit and dream.
3) Shy-ness shall not be an excuse anymore!

Let's go! I'll embark on my new project starting tomorrow! :)

A few other bits and pieces:
a) The world is certainly getting way way smaller with technology, it's shocking! I follow people on twitter like Vanness Wu and Joel Houston like i really know them!?
b) Thesis is making me go crazy! Feel so trapped!
c) Happy father's day again, daddy! and to my father in heaven! I ♥ you both!
d) If you're interested, check out www.jaesonma.com !

all i do is..

write write write.. NAH!

i wish!

i keep doing other stuff, as always.. like make pancakes la, boil barley drink la, play with windows movie maker la, do sudoku la, gardening la, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera..!

You know what? After being infected by the fake anti-spyware, my mozilla got a brain for itself! It only opens whenever it likes, and it doesn't open when i tell it to! Sometimes when i turn on the computer, if i'm too slow to click on the mozilla icon, it won't work after that. Like i click and click and click and click andddd cliiiiccccckkkkkkkkk! Nothing happens. :( Then i have to restart the computer and make sure i quickly click on the icon before it starts to think for itself and boycott me again!

I've just downloaded google chrome, which i installed and uninstalled not too long ago. Hopefully, with that, i won't have the same problems anymore.

I have my tomorrow all planned out by Ms J, to spend from morning till evening with her and Ms M. And before Ms M comes, we might just quickly get out all of Ms T and Ms V's stuff to take pictures, then post on Hobart E-fleamarket on Facebook! Then at night we're going to Youth Alive!!! Hillsong United is here! Yes, here in - guess where? HOBART!!! whooots! Can't wait!

I am scared about handing up thesis in about 3 weeks time. I am nervous about having to take IELTS and going for interviews. I am unsure about holding down a job. I am terribly stressed about the board exam next year.

But Lord, You know all my troubles, and You promised to take me through ALL, each and every one of them. And i trust in You. My heart, my heart shall trust in You.

If i could..

come out from my body, cut open my chest and split my heart apart to see what's inside,
.
.
.
that'd be pretty cool huh?

see what's going to happen in the future,
.
.
.
that'd be even better!

wake up tomorrow to find that my thesis has all been done up,
.
.
.
that'd be super-diculously fantastic!


Hello Spring! It certainly has been quite some time since i last saw you! How quick time flies! September, hold on there! I really need you to go slooooooooooooooooowww~!

spring last year




Gosh, i dyed my hair this time last year! And it felt like yesterday!

Happy birthday, Malaysia!

Today is Malaysia's 53rd year of independence!

Thank you Malaysia. Thank you my home. Thank you negaraku. Thank you tanah airku.

I won't be who i am today if not for you, Malaysia. And i mean it in a good way.

I am proud to be Malaysian!

I know no country is perfect and so neither are you. But i believe in you and I believe in your future.

You will always and forever be, my home.

and and i must say this, I LOVE MALAYSIA! =)

p/s: thanks Jason for the great celebration. Singing 'Negaraku' has brought back so much memories. Good memories. :)

有吾搞错?

玩我啊?

a NOW mentality

please ignore the video title/caption

i don't want to just sit around

but how? what should i do first?

163!

that's how many blog entries i have so far! and also how much calories i burned at the gym today! :D

updates of some of the people around me -

yaya : been emo lately, nobody knows why
nana : left for bega, toured around canberra and have to pay for internet, she brought my bible :)
concon: happily enjoying herself at melbourne, i'm guessing
shushu: we had a good talk and went to gym together today
hinghing: made salted eggs from duck's eggs today

now, about me... (WARNING: emotional download ahead!)

somehow, whenever i see someone driving, i think of you..
the flowers remind me of you, the walnuts remind me of you, the brick wall you built remind me of you, muffins remind me of you, problems remind me of you...
i remember how you tell me about self-discipline, about building your own house..
and i still think about what i told you, about chickens and kids, about swimming...
the berry-stained hands, the embarrassing moments, the giggles, the apples, and how you gently brush away the clutter before my eyes...
i wonder why i think negatively when it's possible, and positively when it's impossible... and i really don't understand why i am even thinking what i am thinking.
maybe it's not you, maybe it's the person i imagine you to be...
and maybe, maybe i should just let my dreams run free!

i really should start writing up my thesis now, not more blog entries! :D

pray with me would you, as i pray for those around me..

have a good week ahead, everyone! ♥

Happy birthday again, Paigu Po!

You complete wonder five. And you've certainly brought us more joy and laughter (eg a-her-her-her-her-her) :p hope you enjoyed ur day!

and and and, Wonder Five Rox!


wish you were here, you would know what to do.. :(

你是好人, 也是个坏人... HAHA!
(blame yaya!)

snow flakes falling on my head

sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time!

again, many things have happened! We celebrated the twin's birthday with a barbeque and cake, then we had the Pharmacy ball, then we had yin yin's birthday, i went up mt wellington 3 times, the first 2 times there was snow, the last time (which was today) it was snow-ING!!!! my first time seeing snow like that!!! it is the most beautiful sight! A dream come true, something i dreamt about since i was young! But that certainly wasn't enough, i want more!!! :D i also learnt lots of korean words from Esther and Hope, so fun! I had a few fun-der-ful weekends lately, i feel so blessed! ^_^

and in the midst of all that, i had my oral viva, HMR presentation and hospital case presentation. I started analysing my results for my honours project but i've only got 1 more month to go before i need to submit my thesis!

Haih, lots to think about, IELTs, TR, registration, internship.. But i guess, the graduation trip is something to look forward to. THANK YOU SO MUCH DADDY!!!

lots of happy things happened lately, but at the same time, i'm feeling very helpless too. Uncertainties after uncertainties.

and although i really am not concerned about what would happen in the end, i just want to know, know what you have to say. Why do i want to know, i don't know. Is it gonna matter, i don't know! Should i, should i not? Urgh, anyway..

get well soon..

Quote of the day (from the little devotion booklet on my table): "The God who invented time will answer before it's too late."

我不是一定要你回来
只是当独自走入人海
除了你之外的依赖
还有谁能教我勇敢
(a song Maria made me addicted to!)

i know i don't usually have lots of pics to show but here's some..

pharmacy ball 2010


snow at mt. wellington


yin yin @ pai gu po @ con con's birthday surprise


marzipan goodness!

everything and anything

wooo, many things happened since the last time i blogged! :)

a fake antispyware infected my computer but because of that, now i know that computers have got a safe mode. :)

interview. funny conversation that went like this: "Hi Phyllis, I'm GXXXX." *shakes my hand* "Hi, I'm Phyllis." (-.-|||)

good, long, midnight chats with my bestest friend.

logged on to proteomics system.

gym with yaya.

maltesers sundae, ID, new friends, new mindsets.

"BEST story - our own story is the BEST story we can ever tell to others" - Ps Lucas.

birthday celebrations, pancakes, mochi and almond jelly.

new phone! no more poor reception, no more broken speaker, no more having to use loudspeaker in public places, no more people mis-hearing what i say through the phone.

a tidy room, no more mountains (only hills.. :p just kidding).

a little homesick. citymall, gaya street, centrepoint, damai, bread and milo ping, economy noodles, warisan square, etc.

what else?

Hmm.. life is short and time waits for no one. What can i do to make a difference?

I get more things done with little time on my hands, and I am more productive when i'm busy. Irony.

I can praise God in the toughest times, but i find it difficult when things go easy. Irony.

I discovered the shakespeare in me, when i was trying to write a story for my friend just now. hehe! hooray to the creative side of me! :D

Ok, i'm starting to talk non-sense. Good nite now!

eventful, eventful day

first, i want to announce that the tulips are poking their heads out of the soil already and we can start watering!!!!! yipppeee!!! *claps hands*

the daffodils are out too by the way.. :p

next, the chickens laid a tiny weeny egg today!!!! woohooo!!!! *claps claps*

but then baby had an allergic reaction again.. :( thank God all's well now.. :)

and we celebrated Hannah's birthday with a dinner and a surprise!

lots of things happened today, talked with many people, some needed encouragement, some encouraged me, some were fun and some were just plain funny!

we had David Bussau with us at church this morning, and Ps Lucas interviewed him in front of the whole congregation. He is such an inspiration! I tried to remember a few important things that he's said which inspired me. One was that, having no parents is a gift from God to him because he thinks sometimes the children screw up because of the parents. And from his book, i think the family he used to have before he was abandoned, was pretty broken. Often, he had to wander the streets or be caught in his parents arguments.

another inspirational thought was 'how to move on from being successful to becoming significant'. WOW! As much as, or even more than i want to be successful, i want to be significant! That's what all of us are born to be, right?

one thing he said that resonated within me was that he often released things and not hold on too tightly so that God can work. He just responds to whatever pops up in front of him and that's how many opportunities just came pass before him. He is a very very humble man despite his achievements and success. He is intelligent and was awarded both for his creative mind and for his work amongst the poor. If you do not already know, he is the first person to think of loaning small amounts of money for the very poor people to start a small business of their own.. He made people entrepreneurs like himself. He believes that access to credit should be made a basic right for everybody. And he believes in 'potential' rather than 'reality'.

his challenge for us was to go out and screw up as many times as you can because it doesn't matter to God. He will not condemn us. He says that if you risk big, you'll get something big. We need to use the gifts that God has given us to serve others and to extend his kingdom. The first thing he thinks about when he meets a new friend is 'how can i serve this person..?' He said that the market place is a powerful place but it's not just for the villains. We need to redeem the marketplace and have influence there too!

at a very young age, he was able to find solutions for himself in order to survive. For me, i can find and tell you what the problems are, and i can find as many of those for you if you like, but i don't always know the solutions. And i hate to come up with one. I'm never bold enough to point out one solution and say, 'yup, this is the best one and i shall do this'. But what i kept on thinking to myself after hearing David Bussau's story is that i can find my own solutions and i don't necessarily have to follow what others have done to solve the same problem.

i hope that every time i re-read this post, i'd be encouraged and inspired to use what i have, think big and risk big! Hope his story encourages you too!

well, Happy birthday Hannah, Nigel, Mabel Tai, Michele Tai, Michelle Chung and Cheryl Hoe! Each and every one of you have been such a blessing to me! :)

too much exercise, maybe?

i went to Zumba and BodyCombat today, my head is hurting a bit and my eyes are teary, my body has no energy, i am ready for bed.

But all in all it was a good day, i had a good dinner with my housemates, good laughs, good chat and most of all, good time playing with baby bella.. :)

Good night, world! See you tomorrow!

kenangan yang terindah

Songs that used to make me cry my heart out, i sing now with a smile on my face...
The feelings and emotions no longer well up uncontrollably when i stumble upon images that break my heart...

I remember the songs, i remember the lyrics, i remember the details, i remember how it feels. I remember how it used to be, but something must have attacked my limbic system. Those memories no longer come with emotions anymore, emotions that i have become so accustomed to.

When i see * holding on ever so tightly, afraid that a past unknown to her might catch up someday, my heart breaks. i feel so sorry for her..

When i see how ^ gave up on all the promises she once made with the truest of her heart, not out of selfishness but because it was never meant to be, i salute her for her courage. No one will understand her, but i do..

When i see how ~ struggles to keep her head straight yet her heart gets the better of her, i know too that sooner or later, she would have to make a choice and stop letting things tear her apart..

Lord, whenever i look back, whenever i think of things like that, i remember how you dragged me out of this crazy game. I wasn't the most grateful girl at that time but i am now. Thank you for every little thing that has happened and for every single person who has come into my life. I may not understand why but i am thankful because now i understand what others might never understand, or even ever seek to understand.

And because you came into the picture at just the right time, i have a special gratitude towards you too. =)

Bila yang tertulis untukku adalah yang terbaik untukmu,
Kan ku jadikan kau kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku,
Namun takkan mudah bagiku meninggalkan jejak hidupku,
Yang t'lah terukir abadi sebagai kenangan yang terindah..

p/s: sorry if no one understands this! It's more for my own keepsake. ;)

finally, some relief..

Since i got back from Launceston i have been hiding in my room, figuring out (or trying to) what needs to be done, what is more urgent and getting the urgent things out of the way.

What was urgent from that time til now was my experiments for my honours project and ID. I was also working on my resume so that i can get them sent out as soon as possible.

Now that experiments are over, ID is over, there is just this relief that came, i don't know why. Maybe it's God's peace. I still have a thousand and one things to do but it doesn't feel that urgent anymore. I don't feel that things are banging on my door, and coming into my face every minute anymore.. =)

And finally, i can sit at the dining table and chat away with my housemates like i used to, over a cup of tea and some sour snakes..

Thank you Lord for reminding me that you had a plan for me even before i was born, and your plans for me are good plans, plans to prosper me, not harm me.. and thank you that you will make all things work together for my good..

i live among mountains

mountains of books, notes and clothes.

my room's in a big mess, i have one spot to sit, one trail to go from my wardrobe to my door and that's it.

i dunno what bugs are hiding under all that mess, nor do i know how thick a layer of dust is accumulating on my desk, printer, shelves. don't even ask me if there's mould on my window panes, i didn't dare to look.

6 weeks worth of cleaning up, tidying and laundry. and the clock's still ticking away. it's cos they're neither too important nor very urgent. sigh. life is demanding!

after a whole day of doing one single experiment in the lab, preparing 7 reagents just for one reaction using 3 samples, i am totally exhausted. thankfully i have my good friend yaya to accompany me during the boring 3 x 1hour breaks where we just sit and wait for the reaction to occur in the eppendorf tubes. not that i can see anything happening.

today's Zumba class was unusually exhausting as well. maybe it's just me.

i am so sleepy! need to be back in the lab again tomorrow but i reckon not for too long. so much to do, so little time!

my dear sis is now holding down a job in Singapore and will be staying there for a while. may God continue to light the way for you, che and may you continue to shine like a star wherever you are! love you lots! :)

and and, 米修, 米修! ;) [just to make you curious, yaya!]

my share of rainbow

woke up, got ready, gazed in awe at a beautiful rainbow while waiting for the bus (i wonder why buses on the other side of the road always comes first, no matter which side you're at), went to the city, got what i needed to get (and a lil something for myself as well), came home, had lunch.

Waited for the bus again, went to uni, took money from Co-op for Ting, met a friend i just got to know in Launnie, helped her buy bus tickets cos she didn't have her student card, lied to the guy selling tickets when he asked whether i was with a friend :(, went to the lab, didn't do much cos i didn't bring my labcoat and i wasn't aware he wanted me to start preparing [as in preparing reagents], realised forgot to give the girl back her change, texted Kitty (her friend) and asked for her number but met Han Wei before Kitty could reply, got her number, found her and off i rushed back home.

Quickly changed and started a bit on my resume, rushed to Zumba, met Joyce on the way home and de-toured to pick baby up, quickly ran home, got changed, had quick snack, went off to Leader's meeting.

Came back, had dinner, read Mandy's amazing blog which is rich with heartwarming stories, talked with Joyce a bit, took a shower and now, blogging. Have to read up a bit for experiment tomorrow and get to bed early cos i want to be fresh and bright for tomorrow's experiment. Hopefully i won't finish too late.

The lil something i bought today was a book, "The Secrets Women Keep". I haven't read much yet but it's talks about how the secrets that we keep, or try to keep, can be damaging to us and our identity. Will share more when i get time to read. I just couldn't resist buying another book.

You know, sometimes, what is unsaid can be as or even more, impacting than what is said. Like how i collect containers, big or small, round or squarish. Like how i keep plastic bags just in case i need it when the moon turns blue. Like how i like to read books and keep one somewhere near for when i need a little break. Like how i have to cut up the fruits into pieces if i intend to share it with others. Like how i like to wrap presents in a particular way. My mum never taught me to collect containers like she does (few cupboard-fuls of them), nor did my dad ever tell me to read lots of books like him. Before the television got his attention, he used to read a lot. Be it lying on the couch or sitting at the dining table or even up in his room, he'd always be reading a book or have one nearby. It may be a new book he just got from Salvation or one that he has read for the umpteenth time with broken edges and extensively hightlighted pages. And i am quite sure there are more things than these that no one told me to do but i just learnt by watching. I had better start watching what i do myself, in case someone else is watching me. :D

Today, when i saw J paying for S's whopper meal cos S didn't have cash on her, it reminds me of that one Sunday we were having fish and chips for lunch by the docks, and i didn't have cash on me too. Fond memories. How sweet!

the way you make me smile

tells me what my heart wants to know

reminds me how i used to hold

onto what you have to show

so now let me just forgo

all that i used to know

and let us have a go

at finding our own pot of gold


:)

Help!

Did i mention i gained at least 3kg over the 7 weeks that i've not been exercising?

Exams and placements just make u fat! Seriously! My tummy is bulging out like i'm pregnant and it's so embarrassing!

i'm glad i'm finally getting back to Zumba and all the other exciting stuff going on in the gym! And i'll have to watch what i eat. Like, seeeeriously..

:S

The end of all placements

Yay! i got my chatbox back, but then the 'sign in' button on the top right hand corner is gone from my site. Haih.

So again, another 3 weeks have gone by swiftly and i am back in Hobart with no more placements to go for. What i have been looking forward to 7 weeks ago, has become history. And again, time has proven to me that it's got wings.

Although we have to walk 35 minutes (more or less depending on various factors like how much sleep we had, any obstacles along the way, left something at home, fog, stamina, etc) to and from the Launceston General Hospital 4 days a week, i quite like the fact that we get to exercise a little bit and i enjoyed the time walking. Sometimes it can be a bit tiring, sometimes the fog is so thick we can't even see what's 100m in front of us. Sometimes it cold, sometimes it's hot til we sweat. But at least, it wasn't a boring and lonely walk. I've got a friend! :) and i thank God that he answered our prayer to not rain while we need to walk outside. It rained during the weekends though, and we can't go out to explore much of Launnie due to the rain. But like Maria said "it's a blessing in disguise!" :)

During our time there, we were constantly kept on our toes because of the questions posed to us. The more i learn, the more i realise there's so much that i don't know. What i got most out of the placement at the hospital was courage and confidence to interview the patients, talk to them and get to know them. Of course, i learnt much more than that but it was a personal breakthrough to be able to do admission interviews on my own. Thank you Lord!

Well, after another 3 weeks of staying with Ya Ya, it feels a little different now, not to hear her gulping down her one litre of water, clicking away on her computer and seeing a blurry figure sitting beside the iron board and heater at 6.30am everyday. Thanks Ya Ya for making 6 weeks away from home so much more bearable! :)

Now i've still got so much to do, i don't even know where to start! HELP!

the little birdie template

i like this template better. hmm.

well, back from INCEPTION and totally exhausted, from both the long day and from the movie.

Now my chat box is gone! i'll fix it tomorrow cos i am quite sure i need no more than 30 secs to fall asleep now.

Good nite!

Good to be back!

hunting for templates

again.

Just got back from placement today, will be going out for a movie with a big gang later, organised by C3 international students.. ;)

i like the dandelions next to the title on every post but i don't really like the colour.

hmm, dilemma.

will blog more soon!

Praise the Lord!

Just a quick update that i have successfully passed all my subjects for 1st sem of 4th year, which indirectly implies that i will graduate end of the year!

Thank you so much Lord! Your goodness and grace, faithfulness and favour is limitless!

Greetings from foggy and cold Launceston!

much love and have a good weekend! :)

Blogposts from pebblepad: It's time to say goodbye!

It was my last day at Terry White Chemist Bairnsdale today. I walked into the pharmacy with a heavy heart and decided to continue packing Webster packs. Although the fumes make me feel dizzy and my fingers ache with cuts here and there, and my shoulders tighten up after packing for a while, I still like doing it. Epilim tablets 200mg and 500mg are enteric coated round purple tablets while the 100mg are crushable tablets. Lovan are bright green capsules. Ostelin capsules look like fish oil capsules but smaller with Ostelin written on it. Ditropan 5mg tablets are light blue in colour. Paxam 500mcg tablets are peach-coloured and they are scored with a cross in the middle, that makes it easy to half it or quarter it. However, they are really hard tablets to halve even with the tablet cutter. I had to use the tablet cutter a lot today because one patient has difficulty swallowing so the bigger tablets like Caltrate and Centrum tablets needed to be halved.

While I was making up this very complicated pack with some needing to be halved, some quartered, some taken two tablets in the morning and two at night, some four at once, I thought about drug-related problems that may occur with the concurrent administration of so many drugs. I wondered if the Caltrate is causing constipation problems resulting in the need for 2 x Coloxyl and Senna tablets every night. I wondered how serious can the patient’s epilepsy be to need 1400mg of Epilim (Sodium Valproate), 100mg of Topamax (Topiramate) and 250mcg of Clonazepam everyday. I wondered how a patient can take 4 x 500mg Diabex (Metformin) tablets which are so huge, all at the same time. I wondered how compliant would a patient be if he needs to take 8 tablets at breakfast, 1 during lunch, 5 during dinner and 2 ½ at bedtime. I wondered how effective is 2 x 5mg of Aricept (Donepezil) tablets in treating a patient’s Alzheimer’s disease.

They bought cake for tea break this afternoon because it was my last day. I felt so hesitant in my heart to say goodbye to all these people who have been so good to me this three weeks. The thought of not being able to walk into Terry White Bairnsdale as if I were part of it makes my heart ache a bit. Not only am I leaving the pharmacy, I am also leaving Bairnsdale. All I could say was “see you if I see you”, knowing very well that it will not be quite possible for me to come back to this lovely place. I made a card for them and bought some chocolates too. What made my day was when the pharmacy owner exclaimed loudly that it was the best present he has ever received in his pharmacy. Just as much as I hope to remember this place, I hope this place will not forget me.

I can’t put down in words how much I have learnt during my 3-week placement in Bairnsdale. Just when I am starting to get used to the routine of waking up, washing up, having breakfast, having lunch packed by Maria, walking a thousand steps to the pharmacy, parting with Maria 2 minutes before I reach my destination, walking into the pharmacy knowing who will be working on that day and wondering what interesting things I may encounter, it’s already time to say goodbye.

Besides all the knowledge and skills I’ve gained, I’ve also truly experienced the ‘community’ in a community pharmacy. Although I have never really seen many of the customers but my heart leaps when I hear a familiar name, be it someone I’ve dispensed meds for or someone I’ve packed a Webster pack for. The staff at the pharmacy are a community by itself but when I see pharmacy assistants calling the customers by name as they walk in, asking them about the latest updates, it just makes me understand what really, is a community pharmacy. One customer may be the pharmacist’s neighbour, another the technician’s grandma. Everybody knows everybody. What impresses me the most is, if the deliveries have gone out at 3pm and some more deliveries need to be made that day, the owner himself will deliver them. Otherwise, another staff will deliver it if it is near his/ her home. This, I guess, is what I truly love about a small place like Bairnsdale.

We will have to take a 4-hour train ride to Melbourne and then fly back to Hobart tomorrow! Goodbye Bairnsdale, goodbye Terry White Chemist Bairnsdale. Goodbye to the beautiful hills and rivers, goodbye to everyone who have been so nice to us. Thank you for the beautiful memories!

Blogposts from pebblepad: Webster packs, Metung Depot and a little tour around East Gippsland

I finally got the chance to pack Webster packs today! It was so fun and I like doing it so much! I packed about 5 simple ones and 2 very complicated ones! By packing the Webster packs, I get to know something else about the medications. Besides the use, the side effects, the dosage requirements, I now also know how they look like! Coversyl are green round tablets with a little heart printed on it, and the bottle’s really good. There’s a little opening that allows only one tablet to come out at one time. Marevan 3mg are blue, 1mg are brown. Karvezide tablets are pink and longish tablets that also have heart shapes printed on them. Somac 40mg are tiny, flat oval-shaped tablets that are yellowish in colour and has a P40 printed on it. Creon comes in capsules of half red and half transparent, with brown beads inside. The Zyprexa wafers can not be removed from the packaging so we tear a little piece of the blister strip with the wafer inside, fold the ends and insert it into the Webster pack. When I was still learning how to make them up, I accidentally crushed an aspirin tablet, and melted the sides of one of the packs. After that, I try and tear the foil a little before pushing the tablet out so that I don’t break the tablet while trying to push it out from the blister packaging.

They usually do 4 Webster packs at one go, for one patient and that allows for one month’s supply. I am not confident enough to handle four at a time, so I just do 2 at the same time. The simplest one I did today had 14 tablets in a pack while the most complicated one had 133 tablets. That means that the patient has to take 19 tablets in a day! Like any other tasks, this also requires one’s full attention. Due to lack of experience, I had to count the tablets again and again just to make sure I’ve got all of them in there, neither more nor less. Some tablets can be so tiny they can easily hide themselves amongst the other tablets.

The other interesting thing I did today was to go to the depot at Metung. It is about 30 minutes drive from Bairnsdale. The depot has only one staff managing it from 9am to 4pm. The staff receives scripts and couriers them to Bairnsdale in the morning, the pharmacy makes them up and delivers them to Metung at midday. The depot has unscheduled medicines, as well as Schedule 2 medicines which are locked up in a cupboard. If the pharmacist needs to talk to the patient about their medication or if the patient needs to talk to the pharmacist, the staff at the depot will make a phone call to the pharmacy at Bairnsdale. We were told that they can do video conferencing as well but they do not use that very often. Metung has no pharmacy and only one doctor looking after patients 2 days a week from 9am to 12pm. However, another doctor is going to start seeing patients on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays as well now.

Metung is a very beautiful place, Maria and I couldn’t have enough of it. The water was still and calm and the sky was so blue. There were black swans swimming in the water and parrots on the trees. The person who drove us there told us sometimes even the dolphins come and play too.

I can’t believe tomorrow is my last day!

Blogposts from pebblepad: Long long day

29 June 2010

When i got to the pharmacy today, i was told i would be going with the district nurse to a patient's home today. Maria and i were at the hospital the other day and we were shown how elastomeric pumps/ baxter infusers are used and how they enable patients to get their medications such as an antibiotic at their own homes, when usually this can only be done in the hospital. Today, just to let us get a feel of how they are actually used, we were allowed to go with the district nurse to see a patient with osteomyelitis as a result of a foot infection. The patient needs Flucloxacillin infusions so she was admitted into a programme called Hospital In The Home and she's treated as an inpatient but in the comfort of her own home. We were able to see how the pump is attached to a PICC line on her left upper arm and the pump itself hangs around her waist in a pouch. The nurse carefully changed the pump to a new one that's made up at the hospital and showed us how the pump looks like when all/ most of the drug has been infused.

Besides receiving scripts, dispensing, and receiving payments at the counter, giving counselling for an antibiotic and a steroid cream (Eleuphrat), i also filled up the CONSIS machine today. It was a fun job and i liked it very much. You have to scan the product and bring it up on the computer, then select a channel, and a laser light will appear at the front of the channel to show you where it actually is. I had to use the ladder alot but it was really fun filling up the machine. As instructed by the pharmacist, i tried remembering the drug name and what it's used for as much as i can, before putting it into the machine.

A patient came in with a script for Metoprolol today and requested for Betaloc because he says the strips have days like Monday, Tuesday, etc on it. I was curious and with the permission of the pharmacist, i had a look at the strips and true enough, on the left of the strip is a tablet which is supposed to be the first tablet, and there are two rows of 7 tablets next to the first tablet, each having Sun, Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri or Sat on top of it. So the patient is supposed to take the first tablet and then the tablet with whatever day on top that shows the day that he/she is taking it, then go around the strip until the last tablet.

After having a short rest at home after work, we went to a training session by Wyeth on cough, colds and flu. The two main products they talked about were Dimetapp and Robitussin. It was a short but good talk for me because it really makes me understand more about the different products that are available and what each ones are for. I can remember them better now, rather than being confused all the time and not knowing which one to choose. They gave us freebies too, which was good, like some Advil, Robitussin and Dimetapp samples, workbook and gifts from body shop. I won a lucky draw bear too! :)

I'm happy i can show people where the products are in the pharmacy now, and i feel a sense of achievement when i can tell customers more about the products that they are requesting for. I have learnt so much during this 3 weeks of placements and i can't believe i have been here for almost 3 weeks already!

Blogposts from pebblepad: An answered prayer

28 June 2010

I don't remember whether it was last night or this morning, i prayed that i'll have lots of cream to make today. Lo and behold, i made 2 creams today! 600g of cream altogether! :) One was a 100g of LPC 5% and Salicylic Acid 2% in Sorbolene Cream, the other one was a 500g of 10% Olive Oil, 2% Salicylic Acid in Sorbolene Cream.

I got to counsel the patient about the LPC and Salicylic Cream. The pharmacy owner was there with me this time, therefore i was extra nervous. Thankfully, the other pharmacist talked me through beforehand. The customer was prescribed Elocon 0.1% cream as well. So, what i told the patient was that he should put a thin layer of the Elocon cream on the affected area (which was his right elbow), and wait for a little while. After that, put the LPC and Salicylic Acid cream on it. The LPC cream can stain his clothes, so just be careful with his clothes (the pharmacy owner added: and bed linens if he applies it at night). Both needs to be applied twice a day. I didn't mention about photosensitivity and the pharmacy owner said it is alright because we don't want to give too much information to the patient, but it is most important that we give them some written information to read at home.

A lady came in and asked for two packets of Cartia 168 tablets. She said one is for her, one's for her husband. She had a heart attack 3 weeks ago and the doctor asked her to get some coated aspirin from the pharmacy. I did a mistake by asking her whether the doctor told her about the strength of aspirin she was supposed to take. She said no, and was quite worried. I called the pharmacist and the pharmacist said 100-150mg is the right dose. It suddenly dawned on me that yes, 100mg is for prevention, 300mg is for acute attacks. I was quite upset at myself actually because i know all this. I should be very sure and confident in what i know, and i shouldn't have to ask the pharmacist next time. I also asked her whether her doctor told her anything about diet and lifestyle modifications, she said the doctor told her to have a low salt, low fat diet, eat lots of fibre and quit smoking.

I also listened to the pharmacist counsel a patient about Symbicort today. She said to twist the bottom to and fro and you can hear a click, that means it's loaded. Exhale, put your mouth at the opening and inhale strongly. After loading the device, do not turn the device upside down or shake it. Also, don't exhale into the device so that it doesn't get clogged up. The last thing was to rinse his mouth after using Symbicort.

I dispensed for some more webster packs in the afternoon and that was pretty much my whole day at the pharmacy today.

The pharmacy owner introduced the forward dispensing model today, but not the full model though. What he did was to put 1-2 pharmacists at the front to receive scripts and attend to the needs of the customers at the first point of contact. He trained 2 more technicians to dispense today, so that he himself can go out to the front more often than he already is. I think he is a very wise man because he went to the talk on Thursday and he immediately made plans and introduced it today. I admire how he say he is not sure how it will work out but he will give it a go see how it goes, and make adjustments accordingly. He said that while other pharmacies are cutting down on staff, they are going to ramp up and improve their service. The pharmacy also employed a new pharmacy assistant today. I am truly impressed.

3 more days, I will miss Terry White Chemist Bairnsdale.

Blogposts from pebblepad: Last day of second week at Bairnsdale

25 June 2010

I did dispensing for 3 other nursing homes today and I am quite satisfied with what I’ve done. When the pharmacist asked me if I wanted to do that today, I happily said yes. However, she insisted I must find out about the drugs that I am not familiar with and spend some time doing that rather than just dispensing medications without knowing how they work. I am actually quite touched by how they try and organise activities for me to get most out of my learning experience here rather than having me work for them.

When the pharmacist told me I’ll be in the front for the afternoon, to see if I get to counsel customers regarding cough and cold preparations, antihistamines or analgesics, I was terrified. We both know it is very important for a pharmacist to be able to do that but I was nervous because that is my greatest struggle. There are too many products available that I don’t know what to do when someone asks for a recommendation. I had a short lunch and got back to the pharmacy to study the AMH about such preparations and went to the counter and have a good look at the products available. I tried to absorb as much as I could but obviously, I’d need more time than just one short afternoon.

We’re all not too sure why but the pharmacy was unusually busy this afternoon. It was raining quite heavily but customers keep coming in one after another, so we were all kept quite busy serving customers. One customer asked me whether I know anything about mouth ulcers, so I asked him a few questions like how long has it been there, what is he using and how did he find it. He told me he’s got false teeth and they are causing him the ulcers. He is using Kenalog and a mouthwash but they are not of any help. He has also used Bonjela before but to no avail. I gathered he has tried most of the products and he has had it for a few weeks already, so I thought I’d just ask him to go to the doctor. When he asked me what stronger medications the doctor can give him, I said he might be able to give you something for the pain. He must have thought that it won’t be worth the effort going to doctor if it’s only for pain relief, so he disregarded the suggestion. What I should have done was to tell him that a visit to the doctor is also important to rule out anything more serious. But then again, if it’s the false teeth that are causing the problem, he should maybe consult his dentist.

Someone asked about Nurofen plus, so I asked the pharmacist. The pharmacist taught me a few questions to ask the customer before supplying it. The customer then told me that it’s actually for her sister and her sister doesn’t want anything that has codeine because she thinks it makes her vomit. I couldn’t think of anything stronger than preparations that have codeine so again I asked the pharmacist. The pharmacist suggested taking paracetamol and ibuprofen for short term pain relief, so I told that to the customer and she was happy to take that advice. That was certainly something new that I’ve learnt today.

I also overheard a pharmacist assistant telling a customer not to take more than 8 tablets of Panamax a day, and I thought that is something I should remember as well. I know all these things, but I lack the experience. Seeing what others do, helps me put my head knowledge into true understanding.

One lady carrying a cute little 3 month old boy came in with a script for Kenacomb Otic Ear Drops. She asked whether it is ok to use it during breastfeeding, so I told her I’d check with the pharmacist. The pharmacist told me to look it up in the breastfeeding book, so I looked up all the ingredients which were Triamcinolone, Gramicidin, Nystatin and Neomycin. All of them may be used in breastfeeding, and the pharmacist also said because it’s used topically on a very small surface area, it should be fine. The pharmacist gave me the opportunity to counsel this patient as well, but she talked me through it before that. So I told the lady to keep the drops in the fridge, and that she may want to warm the bottle with her hands before use because cold drops may hurt a bit. She should also lie down for a while after putting in the drops to let it absorb.

I also counseled a patient on Augmentin again today, and I was much more confident this time. Counselling is not as scary as I thought anymore. And I am truly grateful to the pharmacists at Terry White Bairnsdale who gave me the courage and assurance that I can do it.

It will soon be my last week here. It’s funny how I’m starting to miss this place already. If someone asked me whether I would recommend Bairnsdale for placement, my answer would be YES for sure. And I highly recommend Terry White Chemists Bairnsdale. I have learnt so much there. All the pharmacists there are not only very knowledgeable, but they are also so willing to teach and train you to be a good pharmacist. They always put customers first. Yes, the more scripts done the better but what impresses and inspires me the most is that they constantly try to improve themselves and always find ways to put themselves ahead of the game.

The other thing I like about Bairnsdale is the accommodation. Traveller’s Rest Motel is a very comfortable place with incredible hosts. They borrowed us a microwave, iron and ironing board, can opener and other stuff so that our stay here is as comfortable as possible. They also help wash and dry our clothes, sometimes turn on the heater for us before we’re home and talk to us almost everyday just to ask if we’re alright. I feel very blessed by them.

However, this whole placement here wouldn’t have been the same without great company. Thanks Maria, for making my stay here unforgettable!

Weekend! WooHoo!


p/s maria and i went to Lakes Entrance yesterday. It was a very beautiful place from the lookout but unfortunately it was too cold and windy that we couldn't walk to the lookout from where the bus dropped us. We shared a king's cone with 3 scoops of ice cream, soft serve and nuts. It was a little too much for us though. :p we also shared a silver award beef and burgundy pie. We took pictures at the footbridge and walked on the stones to get down to the beach. We went into a few shops and some of the shop names are quite funny, Pinocchio Inn, Funky Monkey, etc. I had a good time, away from all the work.

Today i went to the St. John's anglican church. I felt very welcome and at home, since i grew up in an anglican church. The visiting speaker talked about doing mission work locally, among the bush people. And i was reminded of how we can reach out even to those in our own community. I was pondering about love today and once again, i am convinced that one who is loved much, loves and one who is hurt much, hurts. And i felt a deep assurance in my heart today that God will take good care of me no matter where i am. Placing my life in Your hands is the best decision i have ever made. I am such a blessed child!

Blogposts from pebblepad: all-smiles-day

24 June 2010

Today is a happy day! What makes me even happier at the end of a long day was an email from my lecturer saying that she enjoyed reading my blog! Maria and I couldn't stop laughing, and it's just out of pure joy! We hope what we have been writing is what our lecturers are looking for and we do enjoy very much in keeping a record of what has happened everyday.

Well, i started my day feeling that i won't have much to do at the pharmacy today because I had a feeling there will be quite alot of staff working today.

When i arrived, i did a few scripts. One had 7 items on it but it was fairly straight forward. Another had 10 items. The person was going to come back in 5-10 minutes so i tried not to pick that script but the pharmacist insisted i did it. Out of 10 items, 5 were last repeats and so i had to put stickers here and there to remind myself which of the 10 needs a last repeat sticker. And then while i was stressing out, trying to put things together within 5 minutes, the label printer went out of labels. Thankfully it happened before, so i quickly changed the roll and continued dispensing. The customer came back just when i finished. Phew!

After that, another pharmacist came in, so she took over the computer and asked me what i was going to do. I remember saying to her "Well, i'll just hang around or maybe clean the bench". She is one of the pharmacists that do HMRs, so i thought i might as well read her letters then. However, having nothing to do was a blessing in disguise because the pharmacist came up with a brilliant idea of letting me have a go at doing one of the HMRs. She has interviewed the patient but has not got around looking for the issues or doing the recommendations yet. I was a bit uncertain at first but i took up the challenge. When i finished doing it, i had a good discussion with the pharmacist and she thought i did quite well. She taught me so much and because she is doing HMRs, she is very updated in terms of all the current studies/ researches. I'm privileged to learn from her and am very proud that my uni has taught me well, so much so i can at least have a little go in doing HMRs in real life.

One thing i learnt today was that, the reason why ACEIs and SARTANs are not used together now, is because although it doesn't seem to increase proteinuria, it still reduced the GFR a little bit, so it is not recommended. Other bits of new things i've learnt today are such as, the incidence of aspirin-induced asthma is about 10-20% (or thereabouts), the cholesterol levels for people with concurrent diseases like diabetes should be below 4 instead of the normal 5.2, and Hiprex (for the prevention of UTIs) is ineffective in renal impairment.

I was stretched over and over again today, being pushed out of my comfort zone a few times. One was the 10-item script, another was doing the HMR which i quite enjoy, the other was giving counselling to the patients/ customers.

I was quite reluctant at first but the pharmacists encouraged me to go and assured me that i can do it. The first case was for a patient needing Lactulose and Normafibe. The pharmacist gave me alot of guidance and stood by me when i gave the counselling. When i finished, she added a few things and once again i had the chance to learn from her. I learnt that 5ml is about a teaspoon, that Normafibe comes as granules and is a bit difficult to swallow, so it's not usually given to people unable to swallow in case they choke. Also, we should start it low because too much fibre at once will make the stomach bloat and feel unwell. So about 5ml once or twice a day would be good to start with to increase faecal bulk. It is also very important to drink plenty of water when taking bulking agents so as to avoid blockage. Lactolose, on the other hand,is 'disgustingly sweet' (according to the pharmacist), so taking it with some juice might be a good idea. The script says 10-30ml but the pharmacist suggested 20ml to start with, using a measuring cup. Whilst Normafibe helps bulking up, Lactulose will make the bowels move. The pharmacist also told the patient that he could increase the doses a little if it's not good enough and go down when his bowel movements become fairly normal.

The other counselling i had to do was Augmentin for a dental infection. I asked about allergies and other medications, told the customer to take 1 twice daily and to take it with food, best before breakfast or dinner (according to the pharmacist) and to take it until all finished. The pharmacist told me that he would counsel patients about antibiotics everytime, not just if the patient is taking it for the first time.

I also finished dispensing for the Webster packs due on Friday and i felt such a sense of achievement when i left for home at 5pm. Hence, the happy day. Or rather, the all-smiles-day! =)

Looking forward to the last day of the week! Time really flies!

p/s: my! so many grammar mistakes and typos in all my pebblepad blogposts! i've edited my pebblepad blogposts but i won't do it here.. hehe! can't be bothered cos i know u know i mean dig when i say fig. haha! good nite!

Blogposts from pebblepad: Visit to the Bairnsdale Regional Health Service

23 June 2010

The Hospital is about 30 minutes walk from our accommodation, so we starting walking a little bit earlier than usual today and reached there just on time.

There were 4 pharmacists on duty today and each of them taught us different things during the day.

We had a quick tour around the whole hospital and at the same time, picked up discharges.

Then, we went back to the pharmacy to do 2 referral cases. One was a referral to the pharmacy due to falls risk and another one due to dysphagia, therefore medications have to be given through routes other than orally.

We were given a little bit of time to do the 2 cases and then we discussed it with the pharmacist. We then went up and talked to the patients, as well as the doctor to come up with the best solutions for the patients.

The major concern with the lady who had a high risk of falls was that she was taking Warfarin, as well as Aspirin. If she falls again and knocks her head, she would have a massive bleed in her head and this would be the last thing we want to see happen. She was on Perindopril and high dose Frusemide as well, which could cause hypotension. MS-Contin and PRN Endone can cause her to become drowsy and fall. The pharmacist needed to talk to the doctor about the patient's meds but before that she counselled the patient about the importance of not having a fall while in the hospital.

The other patient had cancer and was on numerous antiemetic drugs as well as opiod analgesics. We had to go through all the drugs and pick out those that are not given IV, and then think about whether to dissolve the tablets, crush them or use capsules, patches, suppositories, etc. However, when we got up to the ward, we found that he's got no IV lines therefore all the other drugs that we thought we could give IV had to be given using other routes as well. And while we were there, we found that there were a few more meds charted on the drug chart. Thankfully the doctor was there, so we had a good discussion with the doctor. I am surprised at how the doctor valued our opinions, not only the pharmacist's but he valued highly our opinions as well.

Our discussion revolved around whether Nurofen was better than Indomethacin in terms of causing fluid retention; whether the patient should be taking regular paracetamol despite having metastatic cancer in the liver and elevated liver enzymes; whether we should use a patch to replace sustained-release morphine; and whether Cyclizine was needed.

Our conclusion was that Nurofen was no better; that it is alright to take short term paracetamol because it undergoes phase II metabolism, which is less affected by disease; that a Fentanyl patch would be a good alternative as long as he is not opioid naive; and that Cyclizine can be withheld unless and until necessary.

Maria and i were wondering how the PPI tablets can be dispersed in water when they are enteric-coated. Today, the pharmacist showed us what happens when an Omeprazole tablet is dispersed in water. What becomes of the mixture is a cloudy solution with little yellow beads at the bottom and these small little beads themselves are enteric coated, not the whole tablet. Therefore, even if you disperse it in water, it still has an enteric coating. The other thing that i found interesting, was that the pharmacist highly recommended the patient to opt for the Ondansetron wafers if he can because it gives a quicker relief of his nausea.

We also had the chance to see how a cytotoxic IV infusion was made up. The drug was, if i've not mistaken, Temsirolimus. Later on in the day, we observed how Lignocaine and Adrenaline with Hyalorunidase are made up and put in 6mL syringes for eye surgeries. We also had a closer look and understanding of how leur-lock syringes and elastomeric infusers are used in real life.

The best part of today's visit was talking to the pharmacists and hearing their different stories of how they ended up working in the hospital. Most of them tell us that there are pros and cons to working in a regional hospital and one of the pros is that you get to learn to do everything. I can really see with my own eyes that they are skilled in every area of pharmacy, from reviewing medications to making up aseptic preparations, from administrative work to counselling patients. I find this rather impressive.

One special thing about this hospital is that most of its doctors are GPs who come in during the day to see the patients and then come in again the next morning. The other special thing about this hospital is that the blood products are handled by the pharmacy department, where they have to label each and every one of the products before they are given to the patients, where as this is not usually done by hospital pharmacies elsewhere.

Well, that's about all that has happened today and i thoroughly enjoyed my learning time at the hospital pharmacy today.


p/s: my friend and i are a little stressed now, having to do all the homework assigned to us as well as preparing for job applications. But we always come home feeling very tired.. :( she is already snoring away next to me, half way doing her stuff. I shall go join her now, cos my eyes can barely open! Good nite!

Blogposts from pebblepad: Busy Busy

22 June 2010

It has been a busy day at the pharmacy today.

I continued dispensing the Webster packs, did some stock check and made another cream. This time, it's Menthol 1% in Aqueous Cream. I was not exposed much to making creams with menthol at uni but with simple instructions from the pharmacist, it was quite easy to make. She taught me to wet the menthol with a bit of alcohol and then mix it into the cream. I love making creams!

Like i said yesterday, i realise dispensing requires a lot of concentration and better still, your full attention. Otherwise, it is so easy to make mistakes. From checking the date, doctor, script type, drug, dose, instructions, to sticking the labels on the script and medication, not forgetting attaching repeats as well, anything can go wrong and you might be in big trouble. With Webster packs, you have to also make sure you're picking the right prescriptions, for example they need Sertraline 100mg but there are scripts for both Sertraline 50mg and 100mg, so you must make sure you dispense what is needed. Another thing you'll have to do is to sort out which prescriptions are needed, which are not, which scripts are older, and which medications need to be deferred. Also, there may be a few scripts for the same medication in the file, so we must make sure that there are no new scripts before we send the last repeat reminders to the doctors. I learnt my lesson today because i didn't check whether there are new scripts when i was dispensing them, so i had to fig out all the files and go through them again to check for new scripts. If there are, i'll have to throw the reminders in the bin.

I made two big mistakes today. The first was to stick a label for Aspirin onto a box of Prazosin. That is the silliest mistake one can ever make and obviously i was not paying attention to what i was doing. The second big mistake was dispensing from the repeats. I am quite sure i always check the duplicate but somehow i managed to miss this one. The duplicate says 'Alendronate 70mg/Colecalciferol 140mcg' but the person before me dispensed the plain Alendronate. I should have picked that up. I know i was not in my best mode when i got to the pharmacy today, having all sorts of different thoughts in my mind but after realising what could happen when i don't concentrate, i told myself that i must put all my attention onto what i'm doing, because it is that important. Thankfully, i still have pharmacists to check for me now, what happens if i become a pharmacist in the future?

The pharmacist told me that mistakes are bound to happen and everyone makes mistakes but i want to try and make sure i make as few mistakes as possible.

Two of the pharmacists working at Terry White Bairnsdale also do HMRs and RMMRs and one of them showed me some of the letters that she wrote. I didn't manage to have a good look but will take time in the next few days to learn from her.

I was quite disappointed that i didn't manage to finish what i hope to finish today. I wanted to finish at least 2-3 pages of the list of Webster packs due for Friday but i couldn't finish the last one on page 2. Like what the pharmacist told me, dispensing for Webster packs is an ongoing process and it's never-ending, but i want to be able to do more than what i did today on Thursday, if i'll be doing Webster packs again. They wanted to let me have a go at packing them, but it didn't happen today.

Actually, i quite like dispensing for Webster packs. I don't feel as pressured to rush through the script and I can take a little bit of time to find out more about what conditions this person might be having and what medications he is using to treat the conditions. And the fact that it is an ongoing process makes me feel like wanting to get back to work quickly. It's something to look forward to everyday and that makes me feel much more motivated.

Tomorrow, i'll be going to visit the hospital! Wonder how hospitals in VIC are like! Cheers!

p/s: what i didn't say in PebblePad is that I AM SO TIRED!!!! standing whole day makes my feet ache like mad and i go home everyday feeling exhausted! Nevertheless, i like this feeling of having been doing something useful during the day, being productive and learning lots of stuff! hehe, Good nite now, zzzzzz...