turning 22

happy birthday to me
....
haaaappy birthday to me
....
haaaaapppyyy birrrrthday tooo meeee
.....
HAPPPY BIRRRTHDAAAYYY TTTTTOOOOOOOO

me!

twenty-two 22 二十二 ngi sip ngi yi sap yi di zap di dua puluh dua

can you believe it?
i can't.
i can't accept the fact that i'm over the 21 year old mark.
i can't!!!

well, i guess it doesn't matter whether i can accept it or not.
i will just have to...

I had another surprise party again yesterday night by..
joyce, jiena, simon, maria, suen hao, michelle and daniel.

this time, i'm caught in an even more un-composed, so-not-poised-at-all state! hehe but who cares! as long as i'm happy, and u're happy and everyone's happy :)

they gave me yet another me to you bear! yippee! we counted and i actually got me-to-you bears from others, exactly one for each year from 2006-2009 (besides the baby bear)..

and thanks to joyce's "hello hello, how are you? love love, hug hug.. i want to sit behind.." stories, we now call them 'hello hello bears'.

and oh, another hello hello bear card from them, and a set of japanese chopsticks from dear jiena.

thanks guys, and girls! love you so much!

oh oh, i forgot about the cake. it was one topped with lots of sweets and gummies, a very cute cake for a not-so-young 22 year old girl, but once again, WHO CARES! :p as long as i like it and we're all happpyyyyyy~!

today at research in pharmacy lecture, maria drew a picture of me with my star-star necklace, big bag and my boots. i subsequently took a picture of myself to compare it with that.

i'm sure you understand right, when it's a special day, you will want to take pictures of everything and write down everything to remember everything that happened prior, on and following that special day. and like someone said, it's MY DAY today! woo hooo~! :)

here, i want to thank..

Papa God, for blessing me with a whole good 22 years on this earth and this moment now, i can say that i am glad God has brought me into this world and i love this life i'm living.
i know there's much more installed for me, and i am here this day, with what i have, doing what i do, being who i am, all because of you God. and because you died for me Jesus.
i owe my life to you.

Daddy, for your sacrificial love, for preparing the way for your 3 children all these years, with not even a single word of complaint, or a slight hint of unwillingness. Putting your own needs behind, putting your own wants aside, you worked and you saved, you earned and you paved the way for us with your wisdom.
i can be who i am and want to be, because of you.

Mummy, for being there for me all the time. loving me more than your own self, giving me what you think is the best.
i can come this far, all because of you.

Ko, for enlightening me and slowly bringing me out of my naiveté. and for loving me like no other brother would. to dai sou too, for making our family more complete.

Che, for being the best companion, teacher, friend and sister anyone could ever have. you're my inspiration.
i am who i am today, largely because of you. :p

above all, i want to give all glory to God again for this wonderful 22 years i have had.
it wasn't easy but it was well-lived because of you Lord and all those precious lives u've put around me.

thanks Har for the card, you never fail to do that.
thanks too Di for the card, amidst your busyness.
thanks to all my family and friends for the well wishes..

i am blessed to know that i am part of so many lives.

"For you have created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, i know that full well." - Psalm 139:13-14

blessed blessed blessed

i'm blessed.

b. l. e. s. s. e. d.

blessed

blessed

blessed

blessed!

:)


blessed be the name of the Lord

blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked but meditates on His law day and night

blessed are all who take refuge in Him

blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God

blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed

be blessed! :)

same measure

today's offering message was simple yet enlightening.

the person giving the message took along with her some props as she walked to the front..

she used the following verse for her message

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." - Luke 6:38

She took out a teaspoon and said: "If i were to measure out teaspoonfuls of my life to give to others, God will fill it up with good things, press it down, and His gifts will be of good quality of course, but it will be running over a teaspoon.

Then she takes out a cup, and said the same thing.

Then she takes out a bucket and says: "If we trust in the Lord and challenge ourselves, pouring out bucketloads of our lives to others, wherever we can, He will give to us bucketloads of blessings and pour it into our laps."

we don't give to receive. but we receive to give.

it is not how much you give that matters, she added, but like the poor widow who gave all she had, it is the heart that matters to our dear Father.

=)

i personally find it very easy to understand and to remember, so it was a good message to me.

i want to thank here, Val, Ting, Shaun, Aunty Elaine, Roger, Mabel and Michelle for organising the surprise birthday party for me yesterday. and thank you nigel, shao jian, eng liang, nicholas, shane, may, jiena, joyce and simon who came.

thanks for all the presents and effort put in.

i'm deeply touched and i thank God for you in my life.

God has been good to me and i have too many things to thank Him for, lately.

i wanted lunch, lunch came knocking on the door. i was looking for a shawl and a cardigan, they came in the form of birthday presents. i was thinking about buying bread the first thing i woke up this morning, and it met me at church, and i brought it home.

thanks Lord, you are truly all that i need, not that my needs will disappear but with you, all my needs are met.

i love u, Papa.

help me feel blessed enough every moment to be able to give out bucketloads of my life to those around me.

wonderfully made to be freshly eaten

guess what?

i went fishing yesterday night and spent about 4-5 hours at Margate, fishing into the night. :)

it's a totally different experience, the fishes were different, the cold, using the rod, the night, tying the hooks myself..

back in Malaysia when i go fishing with dad, it's hot, under the sun, using fishing reels, no lures (which i think is not as good as fresh bait), never at night, and dad will do all the job for me, tying hooks, preparing baits, get the fish out of the hook, putting on sinkers... ;p

i miss dad. and che. but it was a great night yesterday!

i enjoyed myself i must say.

there wasn't much action in the evening but as night falls, simon brings out his spotlight and wooohhh...action action and action all in front of our eyes!

the mackerels come swimming into our territory and whoa, schools and schools of them. it's not really fishing if you know what i mean, it's like playing the game when we were young? the fish pond thing turns round and round and you have the rod and you try to put it into one of the fishes' mouth? remember? haha..

guess what again? we caught 25 mackerels altogether! impressive right? although it didn't need much skill.. but, still quite alot right? hehe

then... there were arrow squids! one as long as my arm and these squids are not the calamari squids, when you fish them out (or squid them out, since they're not fish ;p) and put them on the ground, they squirt water like arrows, like water guns!

then the water-rat, that looks like a beaver or otter to me, comes around and annoy us, chasing after our baits and chasing away my fish!!! grrr~! then someone did something to it and it swam away, never to come back again haha! xp

and then.....
the humongous sting ray that was as big as my size, can you imagine! swimming before our very eyes, and as if we could ever fish it up with our fragile rods and brittle lines, everyone tries to put the bait near it as it swims by.
however, i was anxiously telling them not to, explaining how my cousin's friend nearly fell off the boat when he tried to pull a sting ray up.

my, i still can't believe it. it's nothing like what i've seen before, not even at the water worlds. was it monstrous or what? hehe well, it was a pretty good live show that's foc.

there were also snorties, if you lower your line a little bit more than for the mackerels, and the snorties, we used as bait too. and oh, not forgetting the pipe fish that someone caught. no flatheads though ;)

this afternoon, shaun and pam who initiated the fishing trip, brought us nasi lemak with grilled fish, home-made sambal, curry chicken, onion-fried squids, egg and cucumber + lemonade.
and it was oh-so-good man! and it has yummyliciously made me feel blessed to be able to have authentic malaysian food this far away from home.

we were all very touched and we've agreed to invite them over for a meal sometime soon. :)

tonight i'm going for dinner again, how blessed! ^_^

God bless you too and have a superb weekend!

a moment of truth

sometimes we wonder why God lets us fall,

why He lets us fail,

why He didn't tell us we were walking towards a dead-end,

why is He not here now,

why is it me,

doesn't He love me anymore..

i guess sometimes we may not have heard Him even when He called to us, sometimes it may be our own stubborn-ness, sometimes it may be our ignorance, but sometimes...

like a loving father teaching his son to ride a bike,
i believe God just lets us fall so that we can learn to stand up..
learn to face our pains, shame, failures, heartaches..
standing up again as a conqueror..
and learning to call out "Daddy, i need You.."

falls are just inevitable, yet we are blessed because He's there.
whenever we fall, He'll pick us up,
wherever we fall, we can be assured He's right there looking at us..

He has given it all for us, at the cross.
all that He could give.
what more will He withhold from us?
is it because He has stopped loving us that we have to face the struggles of this life?
is it because He is ignorant of our needs, and the pain of falling?
is it because He has stopped caring for us, that we feel like He's abandoned us?

something wells up within me whenever i read the passage below, maybe it's because it brings along with it a memory of God's sweet and gentle visitation one day, when i was preparing for my exam..

it's John 14:1-4:
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.
In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.
I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if i go and prepare a place for you,
I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
You know the way to the place where I'm going."

Lord, i want to be with You.


Well, something i learnt again today, hehe!
Diabetes predisposes someone to cardiovascular events, and the possibility of a diabetic patient having a heart attack is as high as someone who's had a heart attack already.
(you know right, if someone has a heart attack and survives, doctors will put them on a whole list of drugs just to prevent them from having another one, so.. u get what i mean? the risk is high!)

and hypertension too, and hypercholesteraemia too (high cholesterol), and obesity too, and SMOKING too!
all those together, or just a few of those factors.. plus age will hurt your heart! badly..

so, for your heart's sake, eat less salt, less sugar, less processed food, stop smoking if you can *shy*, stop getting older (haha, just kidding ;p)!

Love your hearts, okie?
It's working for you every minute, every second, every moment, pumping non-stop even when u get to rest! ;p

Til next time, God bless and Cheers~!

Restore

just got back from EVERYWOMAN, and the night was called "restore".

Ps Annie talked about restoration being a process, and when God restores, He does not restore us back to the original state but it's more than just that, it's larger.. He expands us.

she talked about the Dark Night of the Soul (or is it dark Knight of the soul?)

on FRIDAY, when Jesus died, it was like the darkest hour.

she mentioned about that period of time where something happened and she just shut God out, being blind and very cynical to the things that happen in church, etc etc..
only to realise her dependence on God all this while.

i can identify so much with that, as memories come back to me of how i experienced the same thing, the same feelings, the same emotions when i *ahem* missed my med chem test.

i was asking all the why questions you can find under the sun, why this why that, why me? why didn't you?....

but it was a refining process. i'm out of it, at least for that particular incident and He made me a conqueror!

dark night over, yay!

on EASTER SUNDAY, Jesus resurrected! and through His resurrection, we get restoration of joy, of peace, of what was robbed and stolen from us, He defied destruction!

but.. on that SATURDAY, after He died, his disciples still believed. they STILL believed although He was dead. buried. they didn't know that resurrection sunday was coming, but they still believed.

we know, we know the story, we know that after that dark hour comes the resurrections and restoration, so all the more we should B.E.L.I.E.V.E. =) it may seem like the darkest hour now, but light is coming soon, so hang on in there!

I was telling Val why i like CCC (Hobart) that much. there is just that sort of real-ness in their message, in them, in what they do, that makes me so amazed, inspired, motivated to be more like Jesus.

they openly share their failure, their falls, their story and how God was there through it all.
they don't just say hi, i'm good thank you, how about you? i'm fine, everything's going to be alright, i'm a minister and i should be next to perfect... (you get what i mean?)

and the heart of the church (if churches have hearts) is simply generosity in all that they do. we're not perfect but you can be the best you with Jesus.

i'm glad i'm in CCC! =)

speaking of hearts. i learnt today that..
atherosclerosis (plaques in heart arteries) --> Angina (chest pain) --> Heart attack (and if you survive) --> arrhythmias (irregular heart beat) and Heart failure

it may not always be in that order, but this leads to that and that leads to this, this exacerbates that and that exacerbates this, it just goes round and round..

it is difficult to come out of it once your heart's damaged.

so, love your heart, treat it well, take care of it, guard it with all that you have:
eat healthily,
rest enough,
exercise more!

God bless! =)

改邪归正

(online translation: to turn over a new leaf)

this word came to me when i was asking the Lord why, why have you brought this particular kind of people into my life over and over again..

i thought my burden was only for those who are caught in the addiction for illegal drug use, i thought that was all i will be aiming for..

nevertheless, looking back, thinking ahead and looking at where i am now, i realise that many a time God has placed me in positions where He Himself would want to be, in situations where i can say to them what He would like to tell them personally..

it's not just the drug addicts, but all those who need to find "the way, the truth and the life".
and i know where they can find it.

i know it has nothing to do with who i am, what i've done or not done, what i've got or what i lack that He sees it best to arrange things this way.

in fact, most of the time i am convinced that, other than it being His divine arrangement and intervention, there is no other possible explanations for such coincidences.

sometimes, i think of Him as being the master Director of this whole play, designing the best backdrop, creating the most suitable atmosphere and directing His carefully selected casts, making out of it the most wonderful and breath-taking play. at the end of it all, the audience as well as the casts themselves can only watch in amazement at what He has done.

again i want to say, i'm not perfect and i, in my own righteousness am not in the position to say who is not walking on the right track. i too, am finding my way with all hope that i am on the right track.

but i know that He loves them. for He has said that..

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick...
I have not come to call the righteous but sinners." - Matthew 9:12

..and i want to be His hands, His feet, His mouthpiece, to have His heart, to see through His eyes, to hug someone on His behalf, to encourage, to bring life and hope to those who are waiting for His gentle touch.

as inadequate as i can feel, as imperfect as i can be, i know i can do it. because He has loved me, and i myself have experienced his powerful, unfailing, unconditional, endless, overwhelming love for me. :)

"But you were washed, you were sanctified. you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." - 1 Cor 6:11

my hope is that one day, they will be able to say that too.

facing reality

back to Uni today!

Happy things:
1. successful in making banana cake like mummy's! :)
2. mum's card arrived safely.
3. Jiena's back from her holiday!

thank God for the short 4-day break, I am now going to charge up and face reality.

Reality is..
that i have lots to read up on;
that tutes and pracs are going to start;
that research project will start soon;
that i can slack no more :(
that i'll have to use my time wisely.

On another note, che's leaving for Singapore tomorrow! May God bless the whole team that is going, with journey mercy and may they encounter God in a tremendously breath-taking way!

Dad, Mum and Che went to Bintulu Korean Restaurant yesterday, how i wish i was there too..
with legs crossed, 2 persons on each side of the table, digging into the yummy dishes while watching channel 303 on the TV. Ah, memories.. :)

Mum's going to breakfast with Kung, Po, Dad, Yun yee, Soo Yee, Naomi and Chung tomorrow.
Again, wish I was there..
teasing Noami, annoying Soo yee, manja with Yun yee, spend time with Kung and Po, chat with chung about secondary school days...

Nevertheless, I am glad to be here too. A chance my Papa in heaven and Daddy on earth has given to me. Love you both lots!

Going to revise for Therapeutics Tute tomorrow now. Cheers~! :)

a few thoughts..

.. over the long week-end.

"一寸光阴, 一寸金; 寸金难买寸光阴"

"知足常乐"

and

"戏如人生; 人生如戏...
差别是: 自己是自己人生中的主角, 所以不要贬低自己; 但别人也不是你生命中的配角, 所以不要目中无人"

Regret-fully, these thoughts come from the four-day indulgence on "珠光宝气 / Gem of Life" xp

i'm making a birthday card for Ah Mah's 80th Birthday. It has to be the best brithday card i've ever made, cos it's the first time i'm making her a birthday card and it is her once in a lifetime 80 year old celebration. so, with all the sweat and blood, IT HAS TO ARRIVE SAFELY! Should i send it to mum's? or che's? or che's office? or to ber koh? or to Ko?

i hope mum's card arrive safely, soon. Wednesday is her birthday and Daddy came back from KL earlier! Wow, i am so happy! :)
Now, mum won't be alone for her birthday!! PHEW!

Dai Sou's birthday coming up next, 4 days after mum's.
And 9 days later... *ahem* someone special's birthday. xp
3rd last day of the month, our dear little Naomi's birthday.

A beautiful Marathon of birthdays, I AM SO EXCITED! hehe!

Back to Uni tomorrow! :)

Oh, by the way, i used to blog a weee bit at www.mizluvl33.multiply.com

new beginnings

my very first blog entry. yay!

today is Ber Koh's birthday. ber Koh 'sayang's me very much.

she pays special attention to my needs and gives me an extra portion of her love since i was young.
she buys me presents, especially those that she knows i'd like.
she gives me big-ger ang pows, remembers my birthday, brings me out for breakfasts when i go home for holidays.

i hope one day, i will be the one to bring her for breakfasts, i will buy her presents, those that she likes.
most importantly, i pray that she will come to know the Lord whom i love and live for, who loves me, and loves her too.

thanks ah ko! may you have many more good years to enjoy good health and the wealth of love from your loved ones!

today, i don't have 'lectures'. According to Sham, 'no school' is for school students, Uni students must say 'no lecture!' ;p

i'm so excited for everyone to come for my graduation next year, and I pray that by God's grace, I will graduate in time. :)

Dad's outstation. Lord, please bless daddy! I know he' still working because I'm still at uni.
Mum's at home. Lord, be her company. =)
Che's.... somewhere.. Lord, please give her a surprise.. everyone loves to see her smile!
Ko and dai sou, Lord please guide their footsteps, lead them to where you want them to be..

Thank you Lord, for my family. What would I do without them..

I want to thank you too Lord, for making me ME.

"My life is worth living, because YOU live."

that's all for the very 1st entry. :)